Some thoughts on what inspired CompanionSquared
Before going into writing code, figured that it would be prudent to have clarity as to why I'm building this at all.
The core of it stems from how I felt that the pandemic somehow turned me into a Raging Extrovert™️, which in turn, made me derive a lot of joy from meaningful and deep interactions with people.
From learning more stuff, to talking about (and supporting each other in) our love lives, to doing both physically and mentally engaging activities together, to caring deeply about how our kids are doing (not that I have any - yet), to supporting one another in our job searches and development, I have found that there is both depth and breadth in the friendship dimension of life.
I've reached the point where I would really benefit from some assistance to really engage with friends - both old and new - in a meaningful way that allows me to maintain both my depth and breadth trajectory.
This allows me to nurture certain identities that I've found are joyful to engage with which I hinted at above. These include (but perhaps are not limited to):
And I'm incredibly mindful that this will get harder with age, added responsibilities, different worries, and Life just Life-ing. But it could be that making a tool to be a better friend would result in a stronger community around me, that could result in stronger networks of support that would come to be as we get older. I suppose it's worth a shot to try, even if my view of friendship is a bit too lofty.
Beyond personal utility, I've found that there are macro aspects that support the existence of such a tool.
The data is stark: young adults today report significantly lower levels of flourishing, happiness, and social connection than previous generations, according to data from the American Psychological Association. What was once a predictable U-shaped happiness curve—high in youth, dipping in midlife, rising in old age—is now flattening as young people struggle with unprecedented levels of anxiety, depression, and social isolation.
While we've made tremendous progress supporting girls and women, we've left many boys and men behind in learning how to build and maintain meaningful relationships. The rise of toxic online communities fills a void that healthier friendship networks should occupy. As one researcher noted, "We failed to offer them belonging, so they're grappling for control."
Before the pandemic, three out of four adults already felt moderate to high levels of loneliness, according to a 2020 study by health insurer Cigna. Social isolation now carries health risks comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, research from the Harvard School of Public Health found. The economic cost of loneliness in the UK alone exceeds £2.5 billion annually, as reported by the UK government's loneliness strategy. We're not just talking about emotional suffering—this is a public health crisis affecting our physical wellbeing, productivity, and social fabric.
Religious attendance is down, community organizations are shrinking, and even basic social rituals like family dinners are becoming rarer. People spend an average of 11 hours per day on solitary activities like watching television, while meaningful face-to-face interactions become increasingly rare. We're more connected than ever through technology, yet more isolated than ever in practice.
After 80+ years of following the same group of people, Harvard's Grant Study—the longest-running study on human happiness—has reached a simple conclusion: "Good relationships lead to health and happiness. The trick is that those relationships must be nurtured." The people who stayed happiest and healthiest throughout their lives were those who invested in their relationships.
Most relationship management software was built for business networking or comprehensive life documentation. They focus on contact management, sales funnels, or turning relationships into transactions. What's missing is something designed specifically for the tender work of friendship—something that helps us be more thoughtful, more present, and more intentional with the people we genuinely care about.
The world needs more tools that help people connect authentically, not more platforms that commodify human relationships. We need systems that encourage vulnerability over optimization, depth over breadth, and genuine care over strategic networking.
Building CompanionSquared feels like a small contribution to healing some of these larger fractures. If we can help people become more thoughtful friends—if we can create gentle nudges toward deeper connection rather than surface-level interaction—maybe we can push back against the tide of isolation that's pulling so many people under.
This isn't about solving loneliness with an app. It's about giving people who want to love their friends better a tool that matches their intentions. Because in a world that's increasingly designed to separate us, choosing to invest in friendship is both a personal act of resistance and a quiet form of hope.